This is a very personal post, but I often find that I can process my feelings much better when I write. And I can't write things well unless I know someone else will see them, so I am sharing a piece of my soul with anyone who reads this and I ask that you please treat it gently.
Over the past decade, I have been being molded and changed a great deal with regard to my spirituality and religious beliefs. I was raised a Christian in very conservative churches, but my experiences in college and the wonderful variety of people I was blessed to cross paths with opened my mind and my heart to a much more liberal take on God.
I haven't liked to talk about this very much, because I haven't been sure of how to put words to what I have come to believe about God and His Word, and I didn't want someone to argue with me and cause me to feel more guilty and confused than I already did. But now I am starting to feel more comfortable with my thoughts, and I think that this is in no small part due to becoming a parent.
That's how I see God. As a Father. Not as some magical being in the sky who waves a wand and makes things happen, and not as an arrogant authoritarian who smites people who don't do things a very particular way. I see Him as a loving Father.
Of course, loving parents give their children structure and rules to follow. But are those rules just for the sake of exercising control? No, they are designed to keep the children safe and happy. Sometimes it might feel restrictive, but the rules are always in the child's best interest. Some rules are situational and might be different at different times. "No, you can't have a cookie, you haven't had dinner and you'll make yourself sick," vs. "Great job finishing your dinner! Have a cookie for dessert." "Don't run, it's slippery here and you might fall," vs. "This wide open field is a great place to go ahead and run!"
Then we also give rules about treatment of others, which are the big non-negotiable rules. "Don't take things that aren't yours." "Don't hurt people." "Don't lie."
I see God and His "rules" the same way. He loves us and wants to keep us safe and happy, and he wants us to treat each other nicely. We have these situational rules saturating the Old Testament, and many of those rules don't apply outside of those situations. "Women need to stay separate during their week of mentruation, because you guys don't know much yet about sanitation and diseases could spread," vs. "Ok, now y'all know how to keep clean, so no reason to alienate yourselves from society." "Make sure you circumcise on the 8th day after birth, because that's when Vitamin K levels spike and the baby can heal from it much better," vs. "Oh cool, you guys figured out how to give a little extra Vitamin K right away, so go ahead and get that circumcision over with." And my favorite right now, "Only men and women need to be together, because I need you guys to populate the earth and that's the only way to do it," vs. "Wow, the earth is actually OVER populated now, so you don't need to keep being so fruitful! Go ahead and be with whoever makes you happy, because it's really not hurting anyone and as your parent I want you to be happy."
Then there are the Ten Commandments, those non negotiable big rules that always apply. "Thou shalt not steal." "Thou shalt not bear false witness." Etc.
And children, in their curious and rebellious natures, often disregard rules. Some parents might punish them in one way or another, others favor letting the natural consequences do the teaching. Get that stomachache and next time you'll remember to eat healthier. Fall and scrape your knee and next time you'll walk carefully. But do we turn our backs on our children if they mess up? Of course not, and neither does God. He lets us crawl into His lap, puts a bandaid on our scraped knee, and wipes our tears. Then he watches and shakes His head as we inevitably toddle back out and try again.
What about siblings? We're all brothers and sisters in Christ, right? So let's continue with this parenting analogy and ask ourselves if siblings are allowed to discipline each other. Not in most families, I would imagine. I only have one child so far so I can't speak much to this, but a good friend of mine recently had to remind her son that it is their job as parents to discipline their daughter, not his job as her brother. He should lead by example, because most younger siblings look up to the older ones and try to follow in their footsteps, but if she messes up, his only job is to tell Mom and Dad. Because who knows, maybe they told her it was ok just this once, or maybe there is an extenuating circumstance that he, as a child himself, is unaware of. Let Mom and Dad handle it. Let God handle it.
If I'm being very honest, it is many of my "brothers and sisters in Christ" who have made me bitter towards the notion of church and religion, and I know quite well I am not the only person to have experienced this phenomenon. This is an enormous problem, when siblings are turning each other against their parent, IN THE NAME OF that parent. How hurtful it must be for the parent to watch that happen.
I still have many questions that will likely go unanswered about the nature of God. Why does He let so many of His followers experience such pain and suffering? Why was the sacrifice of His Son necessary for our salvation? I believe there are answers to these and other questions that may have answers someday. As I said before, I don't think of God as a magical being in the sky; I think that He created science as we know it and there is a scientific explanation for everything. That doesn't take away from the meaning of anything, to me. Rather, it adds to it. I love seeing pieces of the cosmic puzzle come together, and I have no doubt that mankind will continue to gain a deeper understanding of God (even if we don't realize that's what is happening).
I have to believe that everything happens for a reason, that wonderful things can come from terrible ones, and that all will be made right in the afterlife. And I do believe there is one. I don't know what it will be like or how it will work, but I have to believe that I am more than just a mass of skin and bone; I have a soul and it will need somewhere else to live when my body can't hold it anymore.
I don't think that God makes mistakes, but I think that what we perceive as a mistake might be intentional. Maybe He allows some people to be born into poverty so that those of us with privilege have the opportunity to help our fellow man. Maybe He allows someone to be born with a woman's brain in a man's body to teach us all that a person is more than the sum of their physical parts and that our souls are neither male nor female. Maybe He creates people talk and short, curvy and thin, red and yellow and black and white to show us that beauty has no limitations.
I don't think that any religion has it all right, nor all wrong. I think there is value in any school of thought that encourages love and peace.
I think that the Bible is the INSPIRED Word of God, written by other men about their personal experiences of Him and what kind of beliefs those experiences fostered. I do not think that the book is without error or contradiction, and I definitely do not think it is the final word on anything. I think that if a person really wants to experience a relationship with God, they need to stop limiting it to the pages of a book written by strangers. If we are truly made in His image, then we should be able to feel His love and His will in our hearts. This is not to completely devalue the Good Book; I definitely appreciate the value of learning from history and relating to the experiences of others, but I think that everything in it needs to be understood in the proper context and kept open for interpretation.
I would be surprised if anyone is still reading this novel, but if you are, please know that this is not up for debate. I refuse to let my beliefs and my relationship with my Heavenly Father be dictated by someone who thinks they know better than me. I'm not trying to persuade anyone to believe the same as me; on the contrary I wish everyone would let go and open themselves up to letting God speak to them on a personal level without trying to make Him fit into the box humanity has constructed for Him.
To sum it all up, I live by the mantra "Love God, love people." Because Jesus' final instruction was to love each other as He loved us. And love is all that really matters.
Over the past decade, I have been being molded and changed a great deal with regard to my spirituality and religious beliefs. I was raised a Christian in very conservative churches, but my experiences in college and the wonderful variety of people I was blessed to cross paths with opened my mind and my heart to a much more liberal take on God.
I haven't liked to talk about this very much, because I haven't been sure of how to put words to what I have come to believe about God and His Word, and I didn't want someone to argue with me and cause me to feel more guilty and confused than I already did. But now I am starting to feel more comfortable with my thoughts, and I think that this is in no small part due to becoming a parent.
That's how I see God. As a Father. Not as some magical being in the sky who waves a wand and makes things happen, and not as an arrogant authoritarian who smites people who don't do things a very particular way. I see Him as a loving Father.
Of course, loving parents give their children structure and rules to follow. But are those rules just for the sake of exercising control? No, they are designed to keep the children safe and happy. Sometimes it might feel restrictive, but the rules are always in the child's best interest. Some rules are situational and might be different at different times. "No, you can't have a cookie, you haven't had dinner and you'll make yourself sick," vs. "Great job finishing your dinner! Have a cookie for dessert." "Don't run, it's slippery here and you might fall," vs. "This wide open field is a great place to go ahead and run!"
Then we also give rules about treatment of others, which are the big non-negotiable rules. "Don't take things that aren't yours." "Don't hurt people." "Don't lie."
I see God and His "rules" the same way. He loves us and wants to keep us safe and happy, and he wants us to treat each other nicely. We have these situational rules saturating the Old Testament, and many of those rules don't apply outside of those situations. "Women need to stay separate during their week of mentruation, because you guys don't know much yet about sanitation and diseases could spread," vs. "Ok, now y'all know how to keep clean, so no reason to alienate yourselves from society." "Make sure you circumcise on the 8th day after birth, because that's when Vitamin K levels spike and the baby can heal from it much better," vs. "Oh cool, you guys figured out how to give a little extra Vitamin K right away, so go ahead and get that circumcision over with." And my favorite right now, "Only men and women need to be together, because I need you guys to populate the earth and that's the only way to do it," vs. "Wow, the earth is actually OVER populated now, so you don't need to keep being so fruitful! Go ahead and be with whoever makes you happy, because it's really not hurting anyone and as your parent I want you to be happy."
Then there are the Ten Commandments, those non negotiable big rules that always apply. "Thou shalt not steal." "Thou shalt not bear false witness." Etc.
And children, in their curious and rebellious natures, often disregard rules. Some parents might punish them in one way or another, others favor letting the natural consequences do the teaching. Get that stomachache and next time you'll remember to eat healthier. Fall and scrape your knee and next time you'll walk carefully. But do we turn our backs on our children if they mess up? Of course not, and neither does God. He lets us crawl into His lap, puts a bandaid on our scraped knee, and wipes our tears. Then he watches and shakes His head as we inevitably toddle back out and try again.
What about siblings? We're all brothers and sisters in Christ, right? So let's continue with this parenting analogy and ask ourselves if siblings are allowed to discipline each other. Not in most families, I would imagine. I only have one child so far so I can't speak much to this, but a good friend of mine recently had to remind her son that it is their job as parents to discipline their daughter, not his job as her brother. He should lead by example, because most younger siblings look up to the older ones and try to follow in their footsteps, but if she messes up, his only job is to tell Mom and Dad. Because who knows, maybe they told her it was ok just this once, or maybe there is an extenuating circumstance that he, as a child himself, is unaware of. Let Mom and Dad handle it. Let God handle it.
If I'm being very honest, it is many of my "brothers and sisters in Christ" who have made me bitter towards the notion of church and religion, and I know quite well I am not the only person to have experienced this phenomenon. This is an enormous problem, when siblings are turning each other against their parent, IN THE NAME OF that parent. How hurtful it must be for the parent to watch that happen.
I still have many questions that will likely go unanswered about the nature of God. Why does He let so many of His followers experience such pain and suffering? Why was the sacrifice of His Son necessary for our salvation? I believe there are answers to these and other questions that may have answers someday. As I said before, I don't think of God as a magical being in the sky; I think that He created science as we know it and there is a scientific explanation for everything. That doesn't take away from the meaning of anything, to me. Rather, it adds to it. I love seeing pieces of the cosmic puzzle come together, and I have no doubt that mankind will continue to gain a deeper understanding of God (even if we don't realize that's what is happening).
I have to believe that everything happens for a reason, that wonderful things can come from terrible ones, and that all will be made right in the afterlife. And I do believe there is one. I don't know what it will be like or how it will work, but I have to believe that I am more than just a mass of skin and bone; I have a soul and it will need somewhere else to live when my body can't hold it anymore.
I don't think that God makes mistakes, but I think that what we perceive as a mistake might be intentional. Maybe He allows some people to be born into poverty so that those of us with privilege have the opportunity to help our fellow man. Maybe He allows someone to be born with a woman's brain in a man's body to teach us all that a person is more than the sum of their physical parts and that our souls are neither male nor female. Maybe He creates people talk and short, curvy and thin, red and yellow and black and white to show us that beauty has no limitations.
I don't think that any religion has it all right, nor all wrong. I think there is value in any school of thought that encourages love and peace.
I think that the Bible is the INSPIRED Word of God, written by other men about their personal experiences of Him and what kind of beliefs those experiences fostered. I do not think that the book is without error or contradiction, and I definitely do not think it is the final word on anything. I think that if a person really wants to experience a relationship with God, they need to stop limiting it to the pages of a book written by strangers. If we are truly made in His image, then we should be able to feel His love and His will in our hearts. This is not to completely devalue the Good Book; I definitely appreciate the value of learning from history and relating to the experiences of others, but I think that everything in it needs to be understood in the proper context and kept open for interpretation.
I would be surprised if anyone is still reading this novel, but if you are, please know that this is not up for debate. I refuse to let my beliefs and my relationship with my Heavenly Father be dictated by someone who thinks they know better than me. I'm not trying to persuade anyone to believe the same as me; on the contrary I wish everyone would let go and open themselves up to letting God speak to them on a personal level without trying to make Him fit into the box humanity has constructed for Him.
To sum it all up, I live by the mantra "Love God, love people." Because Jesus' final instruction was to love each other as He loved us. And love is all that really matters.
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